April 9, 2002
This journal entry is dedicated to the memory of one of my dearest friends in the world, Ray Robinson, who was recently killed in a plane crash. He and his step-daughter Jill were flying his 1941 Piper Cub when it went down right here in Parker, Arizona. Unfortunately, Ray did not survive and Jill is still critical with burns over 85% of her body. My prayers are with Jill, of course, but they are also with Judy, who is both Ray's wife and Jill's mother. I cannot begin to imagine what she must be going through right now as she sits by her daughter's bedside.. My heart goes out to her...as well as my prayers.
Life is so short and so precious. Traumatic events such as these only serve to remind us of what is REALLY important. Ray was a wonderful man who touched many lives; mine included. He was the kind of man who always brought a smile to your face...and was there to help you when you needed it most. He was extremely intelligent, capable and yet very humble and unassuming. It was truly an honor to have called him my friend and I shall miss him.
Speaking of being there when you need him; Ray was not only a pilot for TWA for 35 years but he was also an attorney and an engineer. Free of charge, he incorporated "Poetry on the Road, Inc." (non-profit corporation), and even served on the Board of Directors. Ray and Judy primarily reside in Orange, California but also have a river house here in Parker, which is why I am here now...they are my best friends and also my biggest supporters. Although I shall miss Ray terribly, I am not worried about him. I KNOW where HE is...and he is fine. Judy is the one I worry about. All his questions have now been answered... and he has gone home. Those he left behind are the ones who are suffering..
Ray's service (Celebration of his Life) will be held in a few days and then I shall be on the road once again. It's funny how quickly we can become spoiled. When I left Oregon three and a half years ago, I barely had enough money to make it to the first town and yet... I wasn't worried. I can't take the credit for leaving my worldly possessions behind in order to follow my dreams because it took a major flood to do that for me. But I was blessed with the most POWERFUL of incentives; a visitation, a truly miraculous gift for someone who had always been a believer...but never come close to actually dedicating my life to Christ. During that life changing experience, I was told to "use my gift to make a difference" and he said, "I will do my part, but YOU must do yours." That was all I needed to hear. I had no idea how I would do it, (make a difference) but I knew that I needed to SEEK the answer...not just sit and wait for it to come to me. So I drove away... knowing that somehow the Lord would provide if I just followed the right path. Of course, I could always stop and work if necessary (and believe it or not, I actually LIKE to work) but I've only had to do that twice now; once on the Indian Reservation (to earn my computer and funding for my website) and the second time vending with Tommy (to earn "Faith", my newer and larger RV). I think that's where my current weakness first began.
As I have said so many times before, I really don't mind owning nothing but what I can carry in my RV. After all, I've spent most of my life blessed with many more things than I could possibly need. Of course, as a single mother, there were times I found myself in financial crisis, but I was blessed with skills and could always find employment. We never had to go without and my sons have wonderful childhood memories of skiing, riding horses and participating in sports of all kinds.. But in 1998, when I drove away on this Poetry on the Road adventure, for the first time in my life I was living "hand to mouth" (as they say)...and it amazed me to find out that it was not in the least bit unpleasant. I was living on "faith"...and that's the most fulfilling sustenance you could ever want. But then something happened.
During this last year, I've somehow gotten spoiled! For the first time since leaving Gold Beach, I found myself with enough money that I no longer had to worry about where my next meal was coming from or how I was going to fill my gas tank. I had enough money to make repairs if I broke down or even buy a new tire. I could afford to stay in RV parks rather than parking on some side road or in rest areas. Boy, what a welcome treat that was...but now my year of financial comfort has come to an end. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to work with Tommy in his booth this winter as I had hoped. My plan was to earn enough money to not only get me back to Branson but to provide for necessities while I was there. The problem was that because of 9/11, many of the air shows Tommy works (and that I hoped to help him with) cancelled. Oh well, it was sure nice while it lasted!
But that's no excuse for me to get so weak (shame on me) that I actually considered getting a job and delaying my trip until I had the money I THOUGHT I needed. But thank God for my friend Judy, who, when I told her I was thinking of waiting...said "Abigayle, what happened to your faith?" Boy, truer words were never spoken! It struck me like a ton of bricks the minute she said it. What could I have been thinking? When Christ called upon the apostles to follow him, he told them NOT to worry about what they would wear or what they would eat. The Lord would provide! And here I am, with a nice home to live in (my RV), food in the cupboards, clothes in the closet and, most importantly, my tip top health....so what was I worried about? I am so glad Judy cared enough to remind me and that I have now come to my senses. The Lord does work in mysterious ways doesn't he... Actually, if I don't have any mechanical breakdowns or blowouts, I think I might just have enough money to get there. Thank you Judy, for being a true friend. If only I could do something to help you now...
Tomorrow morning, I'll be doing one last radio show on the Christian Radio Broadcasting Station. It's kind of my farewell to Parker, Arizona. It has been a very productive and creative winter for me and I have some wonderful new songs and poems. I even have a new Fender guitar to go with my keyboard and flute. How about that! I would also like to thank my dear friends Dick and Dottie, who gave me a place to park my RV. You guys are really awesome! Thanks! But, now it's time to get ON THE ROAD AGAIN.
I wrote a couple of poems especially for my friend Ray this week so I think I'll put them (and a picture of Ray, Judy and I) at the bottom of this entry. I hope you enjoy them.
God bless us all.... Abigayle
HE ALREADY KNOWS
How do we say THANK YOU
to a warm "Ray" of sunshine
on a dark and stormy day?
How do we say WE'LL MISS YOU
to a sparkling "Ray" of hope
in a world of much confusion?
How do we say WE LOVE YOU
to a brilliant "Ray" of light whose touch
has changed our lives forever?
How do we say THANK YOU LORD
for the very great privilege of
having known such a man?
We don't... HE ALREADY KNOWS.
We simply say "Go with God, Ray"
"Until we meet again!"
(Abigayle, 2002)
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DANCING WITH CLOUDS
I'll never forget that cool desert morning
when Ray and I took to the skies.
With that "little boy grin" that lit up his face,
he asked, "Are you ready to fly?"
Of course I was ready! I love to go flying...
I never could get quite enough.
But today would be special - a gift from my pilot...
aerobatics, in his sweet Piper Cub.
I can still close my eyes and relive those moments.
The memories are clear as a bell.
Like a bird we were climbing..then diving...then rolling...
first up - and then down - who could tell!
When we paused in our antics, I turned to my pilot
and SHOUTED so I could be heard,
"Thank you Ray - this must be Heaven!"
I love it! I feel like a bird...
Ray laughed in agreement and gave me "thumbs up",
his expression so happy and proud.
But what he said next will stay with me forever...
He said, "It's like dancing with clouds."
That was our Ray; so joyous and loving.
What an honor to call him my friend!
Like the energizer bunny...he just kept on giving.
He was truly a man among men.
I didn't know at the time - it would be our last flight.
I thought Ray would always be around.
But through all this sadness - of one thing I'm certain...
Ray is still "dancing with clouds".
(Abigayle, 2002)
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