“When people ask me ‘where do you live?’, I simply answer, ‘Here…tonight’.” (Abigayle)
August 22, 1998
What a year this has been! Fortunately, I have no time for sorrow or regret as I need all my concentration just to focus on NOW. Only one short year ago, I would NEVER have imagined I would be where I am today…driving down the highway in a 21 year old RV (27 feet long) which now contains every thing I own in the world. I guess one never knows what the future will hold, but after 7 years of developing and building an ocean front resort...a lifetime of raising children, horses and pets of all kinds... and 47 years of living in large homes filled with beautiful and sentimental possessions, I would never have imagined that suddenly (almost overnight), my life would be so very different. I just wish I could take the credit for relieving myself of all those worldly possessions (and the false importance I attached to them), but I have to admit it took a major flood (and no flood insurance) to accomplish that feat. And you know what? I’m almost glad it happened.
For the first time, I am free... free of ownership... and free of responsibility. Whatever I decide to do today is completely up to me, and no one else’s future is depending upon my decisions. It feels both good and bad. I am free...but I am alone. This is definitely a whole new chapter in my Book of Life... and the ending has not yet been written.
I lost just about everything I owned in that devastating flood, including my home and my business; everything but the car I am now towing behind me. (Actually, it wasn't just MY business... because I incorporated and sold shares in the project, keeping the largest portion for myself.) It's a story much too long to tell in this journal entry, but less than a year after the flood, the property and everything on it was sold at auction on the steps of the Curry County Courthouse. Although my personal residence was also heavily damaged in that 100 year flood event, (and I lost most of my possessions) it was not completely destroyed; it simply had to be sold in order to keep from filing business bankruptcy, and the money used to settle outstanding accounts. For awhile there, it looked like I would be driving away from my beautiful little ocean front town of Gold Beach, Oregon, with nothing but my car and what I could fit in the trunk. But then, at the very last minute, I acquired this RV. The man I bought her from is actually letting me drive to Portland and sell my 1986 Thunderbird and then use the money from the sale to pay him for the RV. What a relief that is! Now I will always have a bed in which to sleep and a kitchen in which to store and cook my food. I have a fully contained bathroom and even a shower/tub… It’s everything I need to survive and I feel so very lucky. I think that’s what I’ll name her; "Lucky".
The problem is, I’ve never driven an RV before and here I am driving over some of the most challenging roads in the State of Oregon (Coast Highway 101) and towing a big heavy car. It’s a completely new experience, and I need all my wits about me. It’s just so different from driving a car… and these roads are so steep and winding. (Scary!)
What really worries me is that the temperature gauge is in the red zone already and I’m only 10 miles into my journey. Maybe I’ll just stop every 15 minutes or so and let the engine cool down. It’s probably because the T-Bird is such a big, heavy car to tow, but I’d sure feel a whole lot better if I knew more about mechanics. I hate to admit I’m so ignorant in that area… and I sure wish my two sons were with me. They’d know exactly what to do. But, they're not... so I'll just have to make sure there’s plenty of water in the radiator (and cross my fingers). Whatever lies ahead, I’ll face it as it comes. But at least I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard. And I have my health and a family who loves me. But best of all…I have my faith… so I am truly rich in all the ways that count.
When I get to Portland, I’ll have one last visit with family and friends before I begin my real journey. While I'm there, my sons will check "Lucky" out mechanically and teach me how to operate everything. I know absolutely NOTHING about RV's and how they work but I do know I have propane on board...but no idea where - or how to refill it. I know I have a water tank and a tank for the "used" water...but no idea how to drain or fill the tanks. I guess I’m what you’d call a real “green pea”. Oh well. I’m sure that my father and sons will teach me all I need to know… and then I'll be ready to go.
Go "where"? I'm not sure... But I do know that somehow I must use my gift of inspirational poetry to make a difference in this world. The problem is I have absolutely NO idea how I am going to do that... So, (for now anyway), I'll just travel around the country, sojourning with my brothers and sisters and see where I might be needed. I’ll share my poetry with all who care to listen...and see what happens. If I can put a smile on a few faces and hope in a few hearts, I will be satisfied. Of course, there's always a chance that they'll laugh at me, or perhaps they won't understand what I’m trying to say, but the only way I can find out is to try… and listen...and do my best. Besides that, I really need a rest. My children are grown, my business is closed and I am free of worldly possessions. Now I need some time to heal…some time to recover my indomitable spirit and some time to decide what to do next. This journey will be my chance to think…while I follow the road wherever it takes me.
I realize that it probably sounds crazy to begin such an adventure with no real goal in mind and no money with which to make it happen, but I am being DRIVEN by forces much larger than myself. I simply must go… Why? It's a very long story, but in those devastating hours immediately following the flood, (when I thought I had lost everything and was feeling pretty darn sorry for myself), I was witness to a miracle that changed my life forever. It was so monumental that I've decided to write a book about what happened, (and this journey which is a direct result of it). And as if that miracle wasn't enough... 3 days later I experienced what I can only call a "visitation", during which I was told, (in no uncertain terms), that (and I quote) "everything would be fine." It was time to "use my gift to make a difference" and "not to worry... He would do His part if I would do mine."
From that moment on, I realized that I hadn't really lost anything in that flood. Now it was simply time for me to put something back; time for me to do my part. Now I am listening with my spirit ears and seeing with my spirit eyes, and no matter what challenges may come my way, I have absolutely NO DOUBT that everything will be fine!
So, here I go…
Abigayle
Pictures below: 1: Saying goodbye to my home (for the past 7 years) on the Oregon Coast.
2: The inside of my new home, "Lucky".
