February 10, 2003
The shiny silver sands of time
are slowly slipping by...
And though each grain eludes my grasp,
my memories never die.
(Abigayle - 1995)
Here it is... 2003 already. It seems that the older I get - the faster time goes by. As far as I'm concerned, that's a good sign because when you're sad or frightened, the seconds seem to last forever - and when you're happy and content, time flies by so quickly you wish you could hold on to it and make it last forever. I wrote a poem about that very subject a few years back called "The moment is gone", and it always comes to my mind during the first few months of every new year. I'll put a link at the bottom of this journal entry for anyone who might like to read it.
So, what have I been doing with these precious moments? Savoring them! Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for such a blessing-filled life. I am in perfect health, I live in the Promised Land and I'm surrounded by those who love me and those whom I love in return, (which means just about everyone). What more could I want?
Christmas 2002 was spent with my mother and my cat named Tinkerbell. The three of us always had a jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table and spent many hours just enjoying each others company. I'm glad to report that my mother seems to be feeling a little bit better - but even more importantly, she's learning how to accept the fact that she'll never feel quite like she did when she was younger. As a person ages, I think that's probably one of the hardest lessons to learn; acceptance. For example, when someone has spent their entire life gardening, it's bound to be extremely frustrating (and painful) when they realize that they'll never be able to garden again. It's only natural to feel that way. but it would be so much easier to accept those losses if you just learned to look at them from a different perspective. Instead of being sad because you're losing something, be thankful for the years you DID have it. We all know that there's nothing to be gained from focusing on LOSS (except more pain) so, instead... focus on discovering the things you CAN do. Perhaps that's just the School of Life FORCING us to broaden our horizons... and even more importantly, it's how we learn that the quality of life isn't based on what we CAN or CANNOT do - but rather on what we DO with the things we CAN.
During my almost 5 years on the road, I've often wondered how I would feel if I had an accident and suddenly found myself paralyzed and unable to move for the rest of my life. Believe me, I know that "imagining" and "experiencing" are two completely different things, but I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever how I would feel. There's only one way I COULD feel; I would be immensely thankful for the lifetime of memories I've already been given and then I would figure out HOW I could use my unfortunate situation to enlighten and encourage others who face similar challenges. After all, what happens to us during our lifetime on Earth is only temporary... and because I know of the "splendors ahead" (I quote my own poem, The Promise), I would simply accept whatever came my way and try to find the good in it. Actually, it would be quite an compliment to think that the Lord had such confidence in my ability to handle adversity.
Opps, it seems that I have drifted away from the subject at hand. (Poetic license?) I was supposed to be catching you up on what I've been doing since I arrived in Sacramento. Well, the fact is I spent the last part of 2002 doing absolutely nothing but enjoying life. I decided not to begin work on my book after the new year was underway, and that's exactly what I did. Every day now, I spend as many hours as my body will allow typing and retyping... and wondering how much of the story I should tell. I think that's the hardest part for me; deciding what people will find interesting. Sometimes I rewrite the same page 5 or 6 times, first deleting things that are unnecessary - and then inserting other things I hope they will enjoy. It's always a judgment call - and I'm not quite sure if I trust my own judgment.
So, (bottom line) I'm more than ready for a break from this computer screen! That's why I'm taking my mother (and Tinkerbell) on a "nice relaxing vacation" in my RV. She's never been on a real vacation before, (hard to believe), and I'm honored to treat her to her very first one. She's a lady of great kindness and compassion who has survived many spiritual challenges on this Earth and she deserves to have some plain old unadulterated fun. Plus, it will be a wonderful opportunity to share a little of MY journey with her. For several years now, I've been sending her cassette tapes from the road, and she truly loves them... but after this trip, she won't have to IMAGINE what it was like, she'll KNOW. When I tell her how comforting the steady sound of the engine is as I drive down a dark and lonely road, she'll remember what it was like. And when I tell her how whenever I stop and close the curtains, my VEHICLE becomes my HOME, safe and secure, no matter where I am - she'll know firsthand what I mean. She can't wait to see Sea World in San Diego, Six Flags Extreme just north of Los Angeles and even Tijuana, Mexico. Just think, less than one week from now, and we'll be enjoying 9 whole days of going wherever we want - whenever we want. (No schedule to adhere to and no pressure whatsoever.) That's pretty darn close to Heaven in my book and we're both chomping at the bit to get on the road!!
So, on that pleasant note... I shall bid you adieu for now. After we return to Sacramento, I'll share our trip with you, so be prepared for the story of a "nice, relaxing vacation"!
Until then,
Abigayle
PICTURES BELOW: Tinkerbell, Grandma Jane and Abigayle enjoying the simple pleasures in life.
(Above 1) Resting up for the "hard part"... (Above 2) Helping (?) Grandma Jane
(Above 3) Sometimes you get so frustrated! (Above 4) I promise not to eat the pieces - please can I help?
(Above 5) Wake me up when we're finished... (Above 6) Another day - another puzzle. Nothing to it!