April, 2005

QUESTION from web-site reader...

..."Where did you get your unshakeable faith?"  ..."How could an outdoorsman like me think there was no God?  Nothing has gone right in my life and a loving God wouldn't make me suffer so much, would he?..."

Dear friend,

Let's start at the beginning.  Why do you think you are here on Earth? You summed it up beautifully when you said "how could an outdoorsman like me think there was no God?" He couldn't - and neither do you. But the question is "why do you think God put you here?

I can tell you one thing for sure; it's not a vacation. We're here to learn and to prove ourselves worthy of spending eternity with our Lord and Master. The things we strive for on Earth… like houses, money, cars, power, beauty, etc. are absolutely NOTHING when compared with what we will have someday IF, (and I hate to use this word) we qualify. The eternal rewards are beyond our Earthly comprehension and the road to earning them is never easy. (Wouldn't be much of a test if it was… now would it?)

And then you ask, "Why does God allow bad things to happen?"  That one is simple...   I believe that every single day we spend on Earth offers us another opportunity to take one step closer to righteousness.  Yes, if He wanted to, God could stop every bad thing from happening... but that would be robbing us of the opportunity to learn and grow stronger as we overcome those obstacles.

Jesus told His disciples not to worry about what they would wear or what they would eat. If you are truly walking with God, what you NEED will be provided, because God takes care of His own.  The problem is that sometimes we don't NEED as much as we think we do. Only God knows what we truly need, so stop worrying about what you have or don't have and instead concentrate on becoming the kind of person He wants you to be.  Jesus set the perfect example  – and now we have only to follow His lead.

You also asked me, “How did I get such unshakable faith?”  I wish I could take the credit for that, my friend… but I, too, had to reach the bottom before God could rebuild me according to His will.  And the fact is, I don't NEED to understand His reasons.  All I have to do is trust Him and thank Him for each opportunity to SUFFER... because only through suffering shall we enter the Kingdom of Heaven.   

I, too, have had to learn that lesson the hard way.  I was extremely ill for many years, and in constant and excruciating pain.  I was so ill that I begged for death, thinking that even the Lord didn’t want me when my prayers went unanswered.

But even that wasn't enough for this stubborn spirit.  After I was healed, a flood took my home, my pets, my business and all my possessions.  I also lost a husband whom I loved very much when it turned out that he had a wife in Florida. (Another blessing in disguise.)  And even my vanity was tested when I was beset with a rash and festering sores that covered every inch of my body with such ugliness that people backed away from me in repulsion when I dared to leave the house. I suffered boils by the hundreds and giant recurrent hives that caused me to swell from forehead to lips.  I even had part of a breast removed two weeks after my very first mammogram.   

And these are only a few of the many “opportunities” that the Lord has blessed me with; opportunities to conquer “greed” and “vanity” - opportunities that taught me to put away my EARTHLY self and focus instead on my spiritual growth and understanding. These are difficult lessons for everyone, myself included.  All of my life, I've been blessed with a charisma that draws people to me and gives me the ability to influence them.  I'm ashamed to say that I misused that gift for many years.  I used it to win respect and to make money.  I was prom queen in high school, played the lead in almost every play and was even head cheerleader. Later, I won the world championship at foosball and even later yet, built my childhood dream; an equestrian resort on the beach.   I was considered fair to look upon, slender of build and extremely athletic. Nothing ever seemed beyond my reach… which only meant that I had further to fall.

It took a long time, but eventually, thanks to the Lord peeling away all those Earthly layers, I discovered something wonderful.  Once all the things that I had thought mattered were taken away from me... I was free at last.  That's when I was ready to begin living for God, rather than myself.  That's when I was ready to feel the joy of others as much (or more) than if it were my own.  And that’s why I say that “Every teardrop was a blessing”, (the title to a poem/song I wrote years ago) because each teardrop, each moment of suffering, represents another opportunity to learn... and grow closer to the Lord.   

And so now, my friend, it's YOUR turn to learn…. sometimes painfully but always one step at a time - one day at a time. You are royalty.  You are a child of God, and if you ask... He will help you find your way “home”. That's why He sent us Jesus... to show us the way, and

THAT is unshakeable faith!

If you have any more questions or just need someone to listen, I’m always here for you.

Abigayle

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